HAMMER! by Barbara Hammer

Author:Barbara Hammer
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Feminist Press
Published: 2011-05-20T04:00:00+00:00

Conference Sex (or The Names Have Not Been Changed as There Are No Innocents)

I CAME FOR SOMETHING, SOMETHING BESIDES THE thousands of milling women whose faces blurred into an endless seam of white and buckwheat pancakes before they hit the grill. I came to be fried. Networking, seeing and being seen, panel speaking and audience listening won’t be enough, I thought on the plane, imagining the breasts of a former lover I knew would be there.

“Sleeze and intimacy—I want both.”

I heard and turned from the book display.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Give me a hug and let’s see how you do!” she challenged.

The whimsical face of a gray-haired woman my own age lit up as Judith calmly hung herself around me. Medium, I thought, not too hot and not too cool. She’ll do.

I was here in the middle of the country with specific orders to get laid. Orders from back home where a non-monogamous lover hoping to cure me of jealousy pain suggested, not very subtly, that I’d better even things up while out of town. I hated the matronizing tone of the order but hungered for the result.

I was looking at a photo exhibit of lesbians in World War II, when a medium-toned arm reached across my back and I felt the familiar release of muscle tension that touching brings.

“Hi Sleeze,” she said drawing out the “eeze” and not mentioning intimacy.

“Hi,” I returned, “Let’s make a date to go to the play tonight.” I hurried to get all the words out in conversational conference fashion where the most important tidbits were squeezed into fast-drawn and spoken breaths between booths and panels. I knew if we wanted to see one another we’d better make a plan.

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